Missing Home as a Wanderer

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Last week, my dear friend Kitty poured her brain out into a blog post. There's bows and arrows and analogies and it's a genius read, so I strongly recommend you do here. It also, became a bit of a muse for me, because over the last few weeks I've had a lot of time to think. I'm not ashamed to admit that a couple of week ago, I had a bit of an existential (slightly hormone-induced) crisis, and was collected from uni by my dad, who presented me with chocolate in the car, and drove me home to my mum, who was waiting with wine. 

I have spent the last four years with a huge desire to travel. I don't have a driver's license because anytime I save up the amount of money it would take for me to have a car, I end up flying away. I didn't have this blog the first time I went travelling, but it fed my desire to see as much of the world as possible in whatever way I can. Not through a hotel window, or a gated community, but involved. Living, socialising and working. And so far, I've done alright, all things considered.

But part of the problem with having this big strong, independent woman bravado, is that in reality, I'm a homebird. Yes, I spent 7 months in Italy, but I can easily think back to times I cried over the phone feeling homesick. I thought coming to uni, I would never want to return to Dorset, but so far I've been home at least once every term. And what the three years between Italy and right now have taught me, is that you can be both. And it's okay to be both.

There are very few people in the world who can travel forever and not call their mum. There's also very few people in the world who would want to live at home for their whole lives. It's a balance, and it's a spectrum. We all want our freedom, nobody really wants to admit when they need to be with their parents. I've been denying it for years, only to contradict myself in practice. 

I'll be graduating soon and starting my new adventure (updates of that will definitely happen) and it's the first time since leaving school, I've had a big life change. I'm excited and nervous and basically feeling all of the feelings ever. The last three years have taught me many lessons, but maybe the most important one, is the realisation that missing my family doesn't diminish my sense of adventure. Being an adult isn't defined by how often you call your parents. Being homesick isn't embarrassing. It's luck, because however far away you go, you will never completely want to tear yourself away. It's a sign of an individual who has had happiness and love and nurture. Be grateful, learning to admit when you're missing someone or something, is a sign of strength. 

Love, A x