I'm no stranger to writing about dating as a 21st century woman. There's a part of me, which enjoys nothing more than sitting with friends dissecting dates. But then, there's also the part of me which wants to shoot myself at the very mention of Tinder. Or Bumble. Or 'Pof'.
21st century dating is an art form. It's a game of would you/wouldn't you and mind boggling non-date dates.
Being a young adult is notoriously hard work, whatever time period you look at. From being paired off in the Tudor times to being chaperoned around in the 1920s. But 21st Century dating brings a new obstacle. Turning the real life 'what the f***is going on' into to a 24/7 texting hell. Where you know the girl/guy you've been texting for two weeks is still keeping their options open and Tindering away, because you are too.
21st Century Dating brings around a new issue of communication. Instead of confronting feelings, we can hide behind a keyboard. Instead of chatting on the phone until 3am, we're texting until our thumbs hurt. Ironically, the problem with this communication, is how little communicating we're doing.
Prince Charming was never going to save us from the highest tower, but where it once might be a possibility he accidentally spilt coffee on you in Starbucks and looks up to see his one true love staring back, now he's so busy concentrating on his phone he doesn't stop to help and walks straight past you. But it's ok, cause you might match on Tinder later that night.
Part of me writing this blog post is taking my own advice. Dating apps have been banished from my phone and taking everything at face value is the new me. There's nothing wrong with asking your friends to help you with dating, even Romeo had Mercutio (maybe not the best example- don't swallow a mortal poison for the Tinder love of your life). But ultimately, make up your own mind. Don't listen to the judgement of your friends if you fancy the pants of someone. Simultaneously, don't force yourself to like someone because your friends think he's right for you. The clue here is the You.
Because dating and meeting someone is so accessible now, the onus has stopped being on the happiness of yourself as a strong independent human, and has suddenly become about the dependency of having a boyfriend/girlfriend. Whereas once it might've taken you weeks or months to pluck up the courage to get back 'out' there on the dating scene, there's now no getting out there. Instead you can download an app, in your living room, probably drunk.
In a world of left and right swipes it's very easy to get lost in the possibility of having fulfilment through another half. Just make sure you've spent enough time making yourself happy before you start to depend on another person for happiness. Most of us are happy to admit, love lives would be far more simple without the help of apps and online dating, but it seems they're here to stay. Nobody really wants the word 'Tinder' in their wedding speech, but if it ends up that way, just make sure they're worth it.
Ciao for Now!
x
21st Century Dating brings around a new issue of communication. Instead of confronting feelings, we can hide behind a keyboard. Instead of chatting on the phone until 3am, we're texting until our thumbs hurt. Ironically, the problem with this communication, is how little communicating we're doing.
Prince Charming was never going to save us from the highest tower, but where it once might be a possibility he accidentally spilt coffee on you in Starbucks and looks up to see his one true love staring back, now he's so busy concentrating on his phone he doesn't stop to help and walks straight past you. But it's ok, cause you might match on Tinder later that night.
Part of me writing this blog post is taking my own advice. Dating apps have been banished from my phone and taking everything at face value is the new me. There's nothing wrong with asking your friends to help you with dating, even Romeo had Mercutio (maybe not the best example- don't swallow a mortal poison for the Tinder love of your life). But ultimately, make up your own mind. Don't listen to the judgement of your friends if you fancy the pants of someone. Simultaneously, don't force yourself to like someone because your friends think he's right for you. The clue here is the You.
Because dating and meeting someone is so accessible now, the onus has stopped being on the happiness of yourself as a strong independent human, and has suddenly become about the dependency of having a boyfriend/girlfriend. Whereas once it might've taken you weeks or months to pluck up the courage to get back 'out' there on the dating scene, there's now no getting out there. Instead you can download an app, in your living room, probably drunk.
In a world of left and right swipes it's very easy to get lost in the possibility of having fulfilment through another half. Just make sure you've spent enough time making yourself happy before you start to depend on another person for happiness. Most of us are happy to admit, love lives would be far more simple without the help of apps and online dating, but it seems they're here to stay. Nobody really wants the word 'Tinder' in their wedding speech, but if it ends up that way, just make sure they're worth it.
Ciao for Now!
x
Girl, you are on fire lately with your posts! Love them all!
ReplyDeleteI was very very lucky that my first foray into online dating delivered me my now husband. I was originally a hater of online dating (apps still didn't quite exist then) as I didn't want it in my wedding speech, and luckily for me it was never mentioned as it's not how we met that is important to us, it's the fact that we did meet (and on POF of all places)!
Rachel x
The Inelegant Wench
Thank you for all your comments on my posts today! So glad you enjoyed them! You're so lucky your first experience of online dating went so well, for so so many it's a bit of a shabang! Good luck on your future and in reference to another comment you left, thank you for sticking around! Alice x
Delete