Why It's Okay to be Single in Your 20s (and beyond)

I can already hear all of the thought processes of those in relationships reading this. Don't worry gals (and guys?) you are top notch people too, you just don't need to be reassured that you're top notch. Whereas those of us not in committed, look here's the ring oh wait here's my baby, relationships sometimes do need a bit of a life boost to reassure us we're not losers. Or ugly.

I'm 20 and self confessed would say I've never been in a full on this is love relationship. I've had boyfriends and I've seen people and I've been on dates, but nobody has ever swept me off my feet and made me fall head over heels in love with them. In fact, the closest I've ever come to love is my dog. 

And after a christmas period filled with comments along the lines of 'Oh Alice, do you have a man in your life?', I've come to the conclusion it is perfectly, 100% okay for me to say no, and more importantly, to not be embarrassed.

Me and one of my best friends Emily have a running joke of laughing (yet crying) at ourselves as we watch our best friends fall in and out of love, one of them recently got engaged and another ended a very long term relationship only to find someone else equally as wonderful for her a year later. And despite the maybe slightly bitter laughs as we cry over Grey's Anatomy and eat our weight in Ben and Jerry's, we're always left with the same, reassuring conclusions.

1) No man has ever run away screaming from us.
2) We have each other. 

The truth is, Emily is not an ogre and I do not actually resemble a potato. We're not desperate and could go out and kiss plenty of frogs after a couple of sambuca shots- trust me, we have. But as it currently stands, it seems to be success in life is determined by whether or not you have a man on your arm. And that, is a slight problem because instead of revelling in our single and ready to mingle (or eat pringles) status, we're questioning our self worth and making plans to become a lesbian couple if we're not married by 45.

Being single at any age does not make you a failure. It doesn't mean you're repulsive or the opposite sex is going to run away from you. If I really wanted to, I am 99% sure I could go out and get a boyfriend tomorrow. Someone I wasn't attracted to, or didn't particularly like, but hey, it's someone non-canine to cuddle at night. The fact I don't have a boyfriend, shows I'm independent enough and like myself enough to wait and be with somebody I genuinely like, and who likes me back. Just because you don't have another half, it does not automatically mean you couldn't get another half. 

And all of that, is pretty great. 

I'm a chick flick addict, and make no mistake I am waiting for my coffee shop/aeroplane meet cute. But in the meantime, for all of those 20-somethings feeling freakish for being single or not having a boyfriend or being a virgin, it does not mean you are unattractive or not worthy or anything like that. Next time your Aunty Lesley asks you where your boyfriend is, tell her you don't have one because you don't want to. Because you haven't found anybody worth your time of day.

 In the words of SATC Goddess, Carrie Bradshaw, 'Being single used to mean that nobody wants you, now it means you're pretty sexy and you're taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.'

As usual, Carrie Bradshaw is right. You are pretty sexy.  Just because Aunty Lesley is living in the past, it doesn't mean you have to be. 

Ciao for Now!


  1. I'm single and 20 too. I kissed a few boys sure, but I don't think I've ever had a relationship. You are absolutely right that we aren't less than the people who are in a relationship. I love living alone and being independent. It would take some serious adjustment if I have to think of someone else besides me, but I do have my moments where I cry over a glass of wine thinking no one will ever want me. Oh well that won't ever go away I think.

    Love, Eline | www.elinesreturnticket.blogspot.com

    1. I think everyone occasionally cries over a glass of wine! It's just one less reason to do so! x

  2. I'm single too. Honestly, watching my sister in her currently-ending relationship, is just exhausting and i think if i'm not married by 40 I'll just be content to live with my future dog(s). It's fine.
    x Kenzie

  3. At the end of the day, there will always be the ship that shall never sink #Jalice4lyf

  4. This was great :-)


  5. Love your blog!
    Sorry but I'm an avid fan so I have to correct you; it's SATC (Sex and the City) not SITC.
    Keep all the great posts up, I love reading them.

  6. I absolutely love this post. I've been single for over a year now and I know that sounds like nothing to some people, but for someone who was in and out of a long term relationship for four years it's felt like a pretty big thing! One of my friends told me I seemed happy being single a few months ago and that was honestly like the biggest compliment I could've received because even though I had a lot of moments where I felt like nobody loved me, I must've given off the impression of feeling fine so it couldn't have been that bad.. haha!

    Imogen // imogenscribbles.co.uk