Should we be monetising our passions?

It's been over a year since I last wrote a blog post. A year of ups and downs and heartbreak and finding myself. A year of Coronavirus, of moving to London, of getting a new job, and ultimately, being the happiest I've ever been.

It's not that I haven't wanted to write here. I really have. I've thought about it time and time again. But the more time I spent away from AliceMoyna, the easier it became to just let it become a pastime.

Despite reading blogs myself to this day, I kept seeing tweets and articles on how blogging was dying. I kept questioning if anyone would even click on a link to my new blog post in 2022. I wondered if the effort of typing it all out would actually be worth it, when (potentially) nobody was reading.

And then I realised that that was never why I started blogging in the first place.

With all the love and respect in the world (I really am so glad you're here),  I didn't do it for you. I did it for me. 

I started blogging because I love writing. I wrote this blog as an outlet in my gap year, throughout university, across many different countries. From eighteen to the now-26-year-old, I wrote for myself.

And personally, I've never needed to read blogs more than in 2022.

Blogs are gentle. They're snippets into the minds and thought processes of others. They offer perspective, and they offer escapism. It's honestly a relief to spare my eyes for five minutes from my TikTok addiction, to read a well-rounded blog post written by somebody I've never met.

Blogs, to me, are a written conversation. I write my blog like I'm talking to a friend, and I consume blogs as if the writer is talking only to me. And that connection, that rush when you think 'Okay, yes, I feel like that too,' is so important. As an avid reader, I've never found it on Youtube or TikTok or any other media platform.

So, if I'm so obsessed with blogging, why did I step away?

The truth is, my career as a writer led me to not wanting to write for pleasure. Which brings me nicely onto the topic of this blog post.

All I can remember wanting to be is a writer. A journalist, a novelist, a screenwriter - whatever stage I was at in my life, the core components of my future career never waivered. 

I've written a diary since the age of eleven. I started this blog at 18. I've always taken writing-based subjects through school, then university.

And in 2018 I got my first job as a content writer for a publication in Australia. 

Which is probably when AliceMoyna started going downhill a bit (or at least the frequency of posting did). 

The truth is, when your full-time job is writing, the last thing you want to do when you get home at night, is write. After a day of writing 1500 word blogs for a client, you don't want to sit at your laptop for another six hours. 

It's a reality that has hit me more than ever in the last couple of years. As I've become more serious about my career trajectory I've also realised the toll it's had on my number one passion - writing. 

For example: For the last three years, I've had a whole novel mapped out in my head. In 2019, I attempted to start writing it. And it's sat at 4000 words since then. 

Maybe it's a question of discipline, 'if you wanted to you would'. Or maybe it's the fact that humans aren't meant to sit and stare at a screen for 10+ hours per day. Whatever it is, it's the key to why I've been neglecting writing for myself.

When I think about this too much, it makes me feel quite sad. My blog was my foot in the door for my first two 'real' jobs. Nobody so much as glanced at my hard-earned Politics and International Relations degree - they just wanted to know more about AliceMoyna.

And yet it's also the first thing that I neglected when I felt overwhelmed by work. 

And this leads me to the question - would I have finished that novel by now, if I were an accountant?

If I had followed a path that had nothing to do with my passions, if I'd decided to do something different - would my release still be writing? Would that book be published?

I absolutely do not regret monetising what I do best. I love what I do, I never dread Sunday nights, and I'm so confident in my ability. But it would be mad of me to not recognise my work as one of the reasons why all other writing took a back seat.

Who knows, I guess. But this is my first attempt in over 12 months to reclaim the writing that I love the most - writing as an outlet.

A blog will follow in the not-too-distant future about the rest of my life (and hopefully a design overhaul since she's looking a little shoddy currently).

But for now, I'm very happy to be back.

Love, Alice x