The Meaning of Grown Up Friend Love

Growing up, I would say there were two kinds of people, either you were my friend, or you were my enemy, no inbetween. One Valentine's day, when I was too young to actually 'get' it, I insisted on sending a card to every single person in my class.

I've just got a lotta love to give.

As you get older and change schools/class/years you realise there isn't actually room to give everyone in your life a Valentine's day card. There are some people who end up not deserving one, and others who you may have thought would always get one but actually, with time and distance passing, you realise you don't want to give them one.

Social media makes it very hard to cut ties with people. Even when you stop talking, there's a constant reminder of people's presence through status updates and tweets. And part of life as a grownup is knowing it's okay for distance to exist. 

When you're at school, your friendship group is, essentially, your life. They're the girls and guys who know you inside out and back to front. If you're not with your family, you're probably with one of them. Some people have loads of friendship groups, and some have 3 choice friends, but either way, they're your life. 

Even as I type this I'm reminded of the time my 'friends' stood me up on the day of prom and went with other people. Or the time I called into work sick because I didn't want to face the girl who the day before had been my 'friend' only to start bitching the very next day. Or the one who decided to spread I was a lesbian because I called them out on being homophobic. 

And at some point along the way, I became friends with most of those girls again, because it made life easier. 

But friends shouldn't be chosen for ease. Friendship takes work and understanding, it's 3am calls when you're drunk and haven't seen each other in over a year. It's snapchats of your face in the ugliest pose possible with the caption 'remember me'. It's knowing you can see each other every single day and still sit and talk to the early hours.

Sometimes it's awful and hard to accept you've grown up and moved on from people. Things change and people change, travelling, university, getting out of the place you grew up in, they are all part of the growing up process and if you're the same person you were going into it all, as when you come out, I'd say you've done something wrong. 

There's no rule for best friends. You don't have to have one best friend in the entire world. But, when I think of the friendships 17 year old me had, compared to the friendships I have now, I know I can count on each and every one of them. From the friends I live with and see every single day, to the ones I talk to once a month (if that)... grown up friend love is knowing whether it's been 5 minutes or 5 months, if you call them up, they will come and help you bury the body.

Ciao for Now!

1 comment

  1. Great post Alice! It's hard to accept that you maybe won't stay as close to your friends in high school but the ones that you do stay close with that means they are for life! Apparently if a friendship lasts 7 years it will last a lifetime!